|Posted on May 30, 2015 at 3:30 PM|
I never thought I could change so much in one year. Just a little over a year ago, I was so lost and aimless. For the better part of three years, I had constantly experienced unexplainable feelings of inadequateness, hopelessness, guilt, agony, and shame. I could not explain or justify my feelings to anyone, so I showed on most days with a smile plastered across my face. I was trying to be a “functional” human being. I felt pressured to be what I needed to be for everyone except for myself. I was compromising my own happiness.
Starting Erika's Closet was a huge risk for me. Coming from a family filled with business professionals, doctors, and engineers, I had never considered a career in fashion. I did not have extensive knowledge or experience in the fashion industry. All I knew was that fashion was the only promising glimpse on my "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," and I really did not have anything to lose. Just one year after diving head first into a completely new venture, I have learned so much about both the fashion industry and myself.
I have learned that it is okay to be selfish. This sentiment does not mean that you should lose all regards for others, but like fashion, people are evolutionary and not revolutionary. Therefore, you must expect less of others and expect more of yourself.
I have learned to take life one day at a time as I do with fashion. I do not usually plan out outfits ahead of time, and when I do, I usually end up changing my mind anyway. I usually wait to see what the day brings and take the weather, my mood, and the occasion into account before making a decision. My point is that I have learned that you cannot really plan out your future. In life, there will always be some unforeseen setback. All you can do is take life one day at a time and make the most of the opportunities in which you are presented. It is okay if you do not know what you want to do, just as it is okay if you do not know what to wear. You just pick something and in the worst case you can change or adjust the outfit or outcome.
I have learned that your situation should never define who you are, and never has to be permanent; however, you have to be willing to stay committed to making a change to your life. You have to desire a change for yourself. You have to love yourself.
Most importantly, I have learned to be happy again. I am excited for what the future holds. I am not fearful anymore. I am excited to be going back to school full-time in the fall! I am eager to learn more about the fashion industry and grow my empire. I do not know where I would be today had I not been motivated enough to go through with Erika’s Closet. Thank you to those who have been patient with me. I surely do not expect everyone to understand my life or my story, but I am done with hiding. I have hidden for way too long. Sharing my feelings is what has allowed me to make the most progress, so I am sharing my story in order to finally put everything in the past, and pave a way for a new beginning. For the first time in my life, I can honestly say that I am really proud of myself and of all my accomplishments.
xoxo Erika Desroches